Made To Be
Ms. Tippett: And again — I don’t know, I guess I’m speaking for myself, but I think I’ve also heard plenty of people talking about really important moments of their lives that had to do with pondering a tree. And I mean it’s amazing to me that trees are just — they are so perfect and gorgeous and amazing, and they just are.
Ms. Kalman: They just are.
Ms. Tippett: They just are. And they are, whether we’re looking at them or painting them or admiring them or not, or whatever the weather is. But I don’t think most people — even as I say that about myself, I don’t put myself into that position to be adoring them and letting them make me be happy and get some perspective on my life. [laughs] But you put yourself out there to do that.
Ms. Kalman: Well, you know, there’s always — you can always start.
Krista Tippett and Maira Kalman, On Being Podcast
Each morning before my family descends upon me, I sat in the sacred chair, in the quiet of the house. I practiced matching the quiet and still Spirit of my home, the fire’s warmth and the subtle sound of the flames moving in the hearth. The three dogs at my feet, hovering close with loyalty and nearness. I steady my breath, not like a metronome clicking with consistency, but like the flame letting itself gently move through the oxygen.
Silence and I began to make our peace. He was not taunting me. I know Silence came to the closet to remind me that the Still Small Voice didn’t leave. The Still Small Voice didn’t float away with the church or the job. No one could take the Still Small Voice from me. No one could build a fence to keep me out of the presence of the Still Small Voice. But the Still Small Voice sent silence so I could actually hear Her.
And in the quiet of one particular day when it was so dark I could not yet even see outside, I had a vision of a tree: aged, weathered, bold. Full of confidence. Full of peace. His years flashed before me like a film on fast-forward. I let myself fully step into his life, through his seasons of growing and withering, beauty and scarcity, heat and drought, cold and rain. I entered his mind to hear what he was thinking and heard only the sound of the nearby stream slowly passing us, the slight whispers of tiny feet crushing leaves and snapping branches and the gentle wind moving around and through him. He was present to his place and his moment. Time did not exist to him: only now.
I realized over the past decade I had listened to and read quite a few misguiding principles about my true self. Certain conferences and books were begging me to Do Something Big, find my Thing, Build my Platform and finally become the Important Person God made me to be.
I’m a dreamer by nature. My entrepreneurial spirit liked these messages. But this evolution was not meant to bring me status or any measure of personal glory. This evolution of Mind, Body and Spirit was all towards bringing my life into that integrated, whole place; to experience the glory of simply being my Self, created, made to be me.
Eli’s flag football team won the league championship. It was nothing but precious adorableness and total chaos watching those little boys try to keep their attention from one end of the field to the other. At the end of the championship game, I was standing on the sidelines with my arms flung wide open as Eli ran to me, full smile, full pride, full heart. He launched himself into my arms and we swung in the air as we celebrated his victory. I loved that he wanted to celebrate with me this way, that he was vulnerable enough for level ten Joy and that I could receive him.
Hope showed me that God is standing, waiting with arms wide open on the sidelines. Stepping out of the game was hard and hurtful but I was still here, I was still held, and Hope was rising.
more coming soon
If you want to read this story of Hope from the beginning, start here.